To the 19th Amendment.

If you were Supreme Commander of the United State Armed Forces, could you order them into battle?

Could you send thousands of young men and women to their deaths?

Could you be so sure of your convictions that you could send others to die for you?

And if you did... could you sleep at night?

Happy Birthday, Miss Megan.

So tempting!

I just watched Contact again.

There are a multitude of movies designed to pull at our heartstrings--movies about crippled children and misunderstood elderly, and dying heroes. About tragedies both global and personal. And every one of them brings out the cynic in me. Death and tragedy is part of life. It's the way the universe works. I can not be saddened by the deal of a thousand. I might be touched by the death of one.

But the death of knowledge.... I feel that. I feel it trough the depth of my soul. We, as a species, are both majestic and pathetic. As a whole, we are a pathetic species, bent on self-destruction and engulfed in the lies of self-delusion. We have the arrogance to believe that we are special--that we are actually superior--and we have the sheer audacity to proclaim this infront of the infitiny and mystery of the universe.

I can not do else but believe that we are not alone. It is the ultimate in arrogance to think otherwise. And yet.... I have no proof. I have no evidence. I have not a single thing to say that I am right. It is a matter of faith. And it is the ultimate in humilty.

In the movie, Dr. Arroway had the opportunity to make contact. She had nothing to lose. The risk she took was to herself only; it was only her life she placed on the table.

Were I presented with even the possibility of experiencing even a minute fraction of the knowledge the universe holds--even a few seconds of contact with "something else".... someONE else.... I would sacrifice everything short of my soul to know it.

It has been said that I am a bitter and cynical old man. While I might concede some portion of that, those who would say such things about me have utterly failed to understand even a fraction of what lies beneath the surface. I may be utterly disillusioned with mankind, I may rail against politics from the local to the global, but deep within me still lies the poet and the priest. I..... believe. I look into the eternity of the night and feel the saline stream of passion flow from eye to jaw.

I know I am old beyond my years. I admit to the indiference and stoicism of the hardened cynic. I see life and death as merely turns of the wheel, and tragedy to be a thing presented on stage and screen for the entertainment of the masses. Yet... the prospect of infinity cracks my soul into a thousand shards and lets flow the tears of the true believer.

We are chained to the rock by links forged of pettiness and greed. And yet..... And yet.... there are those among us who are willing to raise our eyes to the stars and believe

I will long have been dust before our species can grasp even the merest crumb of infinity that is cast upon the floor before us. My atoms will have spread to the farthest corners of our galaxy before my people will understand enough to raise their eyes from the dirt and cast their gaze upon the infinity of the heavens. But I believe.

I believe.

And that...... that must be enough.

I know--deep within my soul--that I shall one day have infinity revealed to me. And I shall bask in its warmth and revel in my passion.

And those who see in me only bitterness and cynicism...... They shall weep in their ignorance while I am engulfed in the holy light of God.