I am not a computer novice. I was programming in BASIC and PASCAL back in grade school. I remember accessing the "main frame" via a DECWriter. I was on the cutting edge of personal computing and had an IBM PCjr--with a color monitor. I did everything in DOS, and was a Mozilla user way back when it was still Mosaic, and IE wasn't even a wet spot on Bill Gates monitor. I've run Windows since 3.1, I remember when pine and gopher and archie. I remember having to actually hunt to find an ISP that had PPP. I write html and css by hand, and I'm president of a small web-hosting company.

This year, with the hubbaloo about Vista, I finally reached my breaking point and decided that I would not give Microsoft another penny for an OS that treats me as if I were both an idiot and a thief. So, I did my research regarding linux distributions, and I decided that Ubuntu would be a good place for me to start. It's supposed to be "linux for newbs". And, while I've been playing with computers for 25 years, when it comes to linux, I have to admit that I'm a newb.

I am, I'm sorry to say, less than impressed.

I used an old, mildly defective, laptop as my test box. I wiped the drive and (after some significant frustration finding an ap to burn an iso to CD) installed Ubuntu. The install was rather painless. I was off to a good start. The designer in me wasn't exactly ecstatic over the depressing brown desktop, but I figured I could get back to the "pretty" factor later.

Right about here is where things started to break down.

I had to have my sys-admin walk me through the process of getting the wireless up and running. Now, maybe I'm being a bit silly here, but I thought that 802.11 would be old hat to the linux community; a snap to get running. Yeah... not quite. Eventually, however, it was up and running. Great. Now I can sit down anywhere in the house and access my new and spanky-fresh linux box via VNC, just like I do for my antiquated (but continually useful) Windows desktop box.

Or not.

VNC works... when it manages to connect. I open the connect dialogue, select the right IP, click on "connect" and.... apparently I'm bouncing the signal off a relay satellite orbiting Tau Ceti. The connection just vanishes. When it does connect, it works great and holds the connection for days without a problem. Actually getting it to connect, however.....? It's an exercise in random probability.

Okay... my house is small and, for the most part, I'm only using the linux box as a juke (for now). So, I learn that USB audio is part of the kernel. Great. I plug in my USB speakers and get ready to listen to my music. And we hit snag number 2.

Yes, the speakers work. They work rather well...... on the rare occasion that the box actually manages to activate the USB audio component. {sigh}. I've taken to leaving the linux box running continually (which is a bit of a problem, since the box has a faulty power buss on the motherboard and, as a result, has no internal cooling; it's currently cooled by a USB-powered "chiller plate"), however, there are times when I need to reboot. It generally takes at least 5 reboots to get the USB audio to kick in. I'm not doing anything different each time, it's just a matter of random chance.

So... I have the box up and running, the USB audio active, the net connection connected, and--if I'm lucky--I'm able to control it all via VNC. So.... my mp3 library is on my NAS so that any computer on the network can access it and play the music. Any computer that is, except the linux box.

If I browse the network from the linux box, I can see my NAS. In fact, I can see all 3 partitions, which is more than I can do from the Win boxen. However.... my juke application doesn't see the NAS. Ah... I need to map the networked drive as a local drive. Right. So I head out to the net, do the Google magic, and..... come up with some unintelligible mumbo-jumbo that I'm supposed to type into the command line, and insert into some system file, and..... it still doesn't work.

Am I missing something here? In Windows, with the click of a couple buttons, I can map a network drive as a local drive. In linux I can't? The geek OS doesn't have a way for me to access networked drives? WTF??

And what's with all this command-line shit?

Let me get blunt here: You linux-geeks are always going on and on about how Windows is a tool of the Devil and linux is the Holy Grail, and how can people be so stupid as to stick with Windows when linux is obviously so superior?

The answer is simple: People want a product that works. A product that works the first time, without mucking about in the system files, and without having to learn a whole new language of commands. Not everyone is a computer geek. Not everyone is a sysadmin. Some people are doctors and lawyers and accountants and mechanics and bakers and parachuting instructors. They don't expect you to know how to do surgery or prosecute a tort case or adjust your fuel injection or decorate a wedding cake or pack a parachute... so you shouldn't expect them to know how to plug commands into the terminal window.

I want to switch to linux, I really do. But linux isn't making it very easy for me. I really don't think it's unreasonable of me to expect things to work correctly, consistently, and easily. At this point in my life, I have a spare computer and spare time and can afford to look at switching over to linux as "a long-term project". Most people don't have that.

If linux really wants to take market share away from Windows, you're going to have to get your act together, trash the geek-elitist attitude, and build an OS that works for everybody, not just geeks.

I'm going to continue to trudge through this--because I'm really obstinate--but I am not impressed, and until there are some significant improvements in the the "user-friendly" category, I will not recommend to anyone that they convert.

If you can't convert those who actively seek you out, how can you possibly hope to convert those who are happy where they are?

Spurred by Michael Richards' little outburst recently, several prominent black leaders--including Jesse Jackson--have called for "an end to the N-Word". The idea is that, by getting people to stop using this word, they will reduce racial tensions, negative racial self-perception, and racism. I guess.

If they're successful, however, what it will actually do is make the word more powerful. Think about it for a minute and you'll understand what I mean. When a word, like "queer" or "nazi", makes it into the common lexicon, it loses power. There are "grammar nazis" and "feminazis" and even the "soup nazi" on the show which made Richards famous. Nobody associates these terms with the attrocities of Hitler and the National Socialist party of the 1930s and 40s. It's just a word--a word which has been stripped of its power.

The same goes for "queer". Before it was coopted by gays, it was an insult. It was a fairly nasty insult, in fact. But then the gay community grabbed ahold of it and started bragging that they were, indeed, "queer". The word lost its power. You can't insult someone by calling them what they call themselves. I have gay friends that openly refer to themselves as "fags" ("Christmas is a straight-man's holiday. We're fags, we don't need a reason to shop.")

A significant portion of the "black community" (a misnomer, since skin color alone doesn't create a community) has coopted the "N-Word" as a friendly coloquialism amongst themselves. The word has lost its power in that situation. (However, if I were to step into that same situation and use it, however, I'd probably be "aggressively persuaded" that I had stepped beyond the boundaries of its acceptable use.)

The thing to remember is that the word is just a word. It only has as much power as we give it. Ban the word, increase its "naughty quotient", and you've just given it more power. The less acceptable a word is, the more powerful it becomes. Give it enough power, and it can become a keystone in propogating an attitude--not because of the word itself, but because of the power that has been given to it.

By attacking a word, Jackson and his compatriots are doing themselves, and their "constituents" a great disservice. Eliminating a word won't eliminate prejudice, or discrimination, or racism. It won't improve schools, create jobs, or elminate drug use. It won't solve any of the problems that need to be solved.

But it will make outbursts like Richards' far more hurtful.

I was keeping this in my "someday" folder as the basis for a novel, but... let's be honest here: I'm never going to write it. So...

The Road to Mars:

The Road to Mars isn't one that will--or should--be built by governments. Its hope for success lies in 2 vested interests: Dreamers and Capitalists. There are millions of geeks, nerds, and other SF fans who, like me, look to the stars and feel an almost physical pull. These are some of the the most intelligent and creative people on the planet, and the ones most willing to put in the kind of effort and dedication needed to accomplish the task. They'd be doing it not for profit or recognition; they'd be doing for "the dream"--and that's one of the most powerful motivators there is. It's how cathedrals were built, how the new continents were discovered, and why we made it to the moon. But, like these projects of our history, there needs to be another factor--a powerful religious state, a government, or a corporation. This is where the Road stops being a dream and starts becoming a real thing.

The ideal genesis would be a corporate "monarch"--someone like Bill Gates, Ted Turner, Lawrence J. Ellison, or Warren Buffet--who is also a Dreamer. Someone like this could "seed the coffer", but more importantly would have the skills and resources to move the project along; corporate & industrial connections, political clout, managerial skills, and access to skilled workers to draw on--not to mention the public stature on which to anchor the marketing. Oh yes, there would definitely be marketing.

Once the CEO is in place--and The Mars Foundation is set up to protect the investment and deal with all the various corporate matters--it becomes his job to create and integrate the 2 divisions of the Road to Mars.

The Mars Project. The Mars Project would be involved in three main objectives: Open source development, Fund raising, and recruitment.

Open source development: Geekdom is a fertile ground for ideas and development--as has been shown by the open-source software community. The dream of colonizing space is one that has been around for a very long time, and one which has been discussed down to the pickiest of details for just as long. It would be the responsibility of the Mars Project to take those ideas and those knowledgeable geeks and organize them. First, sift through the ideas that are out there and pick the most "elegant" solutions for each of the major goals. Put the top 3 solutions on the table and open them up to teams of volunteers. and let them do what open-source developers do. As work progresses, one solution will take the lead--that becomes the one to go with.

Collecting donations: There are those who don't have the skills to actually work on the projects in a technical capacity, but they still want to be a part of the dream. They can donate--money, time, or other resources. This wouldn't be a major source of revenue, but it would be a way to get more people involved and to keep the momentum going in the public sphere.

Recruiting: This is, perhaps, the most powerful aspect of the Mars Project--recruiting colonists. It's one thing to be an astronaut--going up into space for a week or a month and then coming back home to the wife and kids--it's a completely different thing to climb into a ship on a one-way trip knowing that survival is going to be risky, at best. The solution is simple: recruit volunteers from geekdom. The colonists don't need to be in top physical condition, they simply need to be able to survive. And they need a wide range of skills--skills that astronauts don't need: cooking, painting, cleaning, entertaining, management, sewing, construction, and so forth. There are, without a doubt, enough people out there willing to take the risks, leave everything behind, for the chance to live their dream.

Mars Industries: The other side of the coin is the corporate side. The dream can't happen just based on the donations of geekdom, it needs serious capital, and serious industrial involvement.

Marketing. The primary source of income would be marketing--both through branding and through corporate partnerships. First things first: a .mars TLD The Mars Project would have it's own network--partly for it's ability to coordinate efficiently, but also as a means of revenue. Every geek would want www.mydomain.mars, and they'd be willing to pay for it. From there, move on to toys, lunch boxes, t-shirts, posters, and everything else you can slap a logo on. Franchise the hell out of it.

At the same time, start working on the corporate partnerships. How much would Nike pay to say "the best sneakers on two planets"? How much would it be worth to BMW to have the Mars endorsement? Would AT&T like to ad a red logo next to their blue one? Monsanto seeds? Levi Straus blue jeans? Oakley sunglasses? The options are extensive, and someone with the right marketing skills could definitely sell it.

There are other kinds of partnerships, though; partnerships with companies like Dow Chemical or IBM, for example, where they develop the tools needed for the project in exchange for exclusive rights to any discoveries or inventions made (with patents held by and royalties going to Mars, Inc) both in the development process and at the colony.

Let's not, of course, forget the world governments. The Mars Colony would have to be set up as an international colony--perhaps under the jurisdiction of the UN, but certainly answerable to no single government. Any government wishing to fund research in the colony would be welcome to. And it would certainly be reasonable to work deals with the various governments allowing them limited exclusivity of discoveries based on that research, but requiring them to go into public domain after a certain number of years. If they want to send their own researchers, the colony can rent them space, equipment, and labor.

Back "home" the Mars Foundation would continue their work, utilizing the information and discoveries to continue funding the additional missions and, ultimately, a "space train" such as the one described by Buzz Aldrin.

It's a "doable" scenario. It would take hard work and a lot of people far, far more skilled than I am to get it even started. But I honestly believe it can be done.

Does anyone want to step up to the plate and take a swing? I make only one demand: I get to go.

"Enact strategy broadly, correctly and openly. Then you will come to think of things in a wide sense and, taking the Void as the Way, you will see the Way as Void. [...] In the Void is virtue, and no evil."
--Miamoto Musashi, Go Rin No Sho

Those who are alike in pleasure and pain are truly wise and fit for immortality.
--Bhagavad Gita, 2:15

This weekend, our nation celebrated the holiday of Thanksgiving. While there is a great deal of history enmeshed in this holiday and its origins--some honorable, some shameful--it is the spirit of the holiday upon which we should focus.

Originally, the concept of a Day of Thanksgiving revolved around agricultural concerns, the advances of modern society have pulled us away from that aspect and directed us toward a wider and more far-reaching interpretation.

In the United States--as well as in Canada and the nations of the European Union--we reap the benefits of a society which is rich in the benefits of industry, technology, and agriculture. We have access to good food, health care, housing, education, and a balanced legal system. These are things which we take for granted.

But these are things for which we should give our utmost thanks.

In many parts of the world--even within our own societies--there are those who don't have these things. Here in the US, we live in a nation of disparities. While most of us dream about a bigger house, a better car, a fancier television set, there are those who still dream of decent meal, presentable clothes, and the most basic health care for their children.

Every society will have its extremes. There will always be the very rich, and there will always be the very poor. These things can't be changed. It has been tried--by Lenin, Mao, and Castro--and it has failed. While history strives to demonize these men, it must be remembered that they fought for the noblest of goals--equality and respect for every citizen. This is a goal which every democratic society also strives. Their failure wasn't in their dreams, it was in their methods. Equality can not be imposed from above, it must be embraced from within.

Where democracy has shown its superiority is in its perseverence: Nature rewards the strong; this is as true with cultures as it is with animals. Our nation was born of the strength and conviction of the leaders and soldiers of the Revolution. Our nation has grown upon the strength of the people. Despite our recent failures and insults, our nation continues to be strong and honorable.

I know that not everyone hearing these words agrees with my stance or my policies. And it is for exactly this reason that I am grateful. I thank whatever god there may be, that we live in a nation in which you are allowed to disagree with me. I thank God that we live in a nation where you have the right to look me in the eye and say "Mr. President, you are wrong."

I am, by no means, blind to the failures and injustices of our nation. I admit that we have a very long way to go before we achieve perfection. The great author Robert Heinlein once said "Democracy is the worst form of Government, except for all the rest."

Our nation, our government, our way of life is not perfect. It is, in fact, greatly and powerfully flawed. But we--each and every one of us--hold the power to change the course of our nation. That, above all else, is what make our nation great. Over 200 years ago, a few brave men stood forth and laid down the rules which created our nation. Since that time, the spirit of those men has swept across the globe, becoming the beacon by which the dreams of a hundred nations navigate.

While others have lived through revolutions, coups, and tyrannies, our nation has continued. We have withstood disasters, upheavals, and even civil war. And still we continue.

I stand before you today able to express my deepest gratitude to those brave men and women who defied history and tyranny to create this proud nation. And I am deeply grateful not only for those who support my vision for this nation, but for the protections that allow people to speak out against me. It is those voices which keep me honest. And somewhere between their passion and my own is the reality of our world. And I am truly thankful that neither of us has the power to enforce our will upon the world.

... Magic is green.

If not for the torrent of words racing through my mind, I would say that I am speechless.

I just finished watching the HBO documentary Hacking Democracy.

I have known about the issues concerning electronic voting for a while now, and I paid close attention to the reports of discrepancies and irregularities in this last election. This documentary, however, has taken my outrage to a new level.

If you have HBO, watch this documentary. I don't care if you're a republican, democrat, libertarian, or communist; this is an issue which affects you.

The fact that this information hasn't hit the national--and international--news media is scary. This is proof-positive that our votes can be stolen. One man with the right skills can determine who is President of the United States of America.

Stop and think about that for a minute.

The voices of geekdom haven't made the electorate stand up and take notice. This documentary on HBO hasn't caused the electorate to stand up and take notice.

What this nation needs is one hero--one person willing to sacrifice themself to save the nation. What do I mean? I mean one person with the skills needs to hack a voting machine; they need to deliberately pervert the results in a national election--and then step forward and let the world know what they have done. They need to become a martyr for Truth--risk prosecution and prison in order to bring down the tyranny of secrecy that pervades our election process.

If you are willing to become such a martyr, here are your instructions:

Find out how to hack the electronic voting machines. Create the program necessary to do so--but still retain the true vote of the electorate. On November 4th, 2008, hack the vote... then, the following morning, call your local TV station and report what you have done. Or better yet, call CNN.

You will be charged with a felony. You will go to prison. But... you will become famous, and you will turn this nation on it's head. And you will be a hero.

All this nation needs is one person to sacrifice their freedom for the honor of this country. It doesn't matter who the true victor is in the election--republican, democrat, libertarian, or communist--we will know that they are truly who we have chosen.

Does this nation have a hero?

Relationships, almost by definition, require a flow in two directions. Professional, personal, private; it doesn't matter. Each party must give and each party must take. Anything else is parasitic.

There are those who think they can take without giving back. They see a love and acceptance which they need, and they take it. They feel they're suckling at the breast, but their actions are more vampiric. Eventually the lifeblood will run dry.

There are those who think they can give without taking back. They imagine themselves to be invulnerable saviors. They give their all and ask nothing in return.... only to find, too late, that they have bared their throats to the vampire.

Both ways lead to destruction.

The relationship that survives is one that gives and takes in both directions. The relationship which thrives is the one in which the gift and the acceptance are equally weighted.

No matter how strong a love might be, it can not give forever and not take back.

This is a lesson I learned from living it. I gave too much and got nothing in return. I painted myself as a heroic figure...reality recognized me as tragic.

Someone very close to me gave more than she should have and opened my eyes.

I have, since, learned the concept of "limits". I have come to understand what is in me; what I have to give, what must ask in return.

I have walked away from people I thought were close to me because I came to understand their vampiric nature. If 15 years of giving isn't worth a few hours of giving, it's not a relationship... it's emotional rape.

There is a currency to emotional exchange. 1 hour of taking may be a fair exchange for 1 year of giving. An honest smile may be worth a year of pain. It's all subjective. But there is no situation in which "nothing" is a fair exchange.

There is no situation in which a bared soul is fair trade for silence.

Between "now" and "never" is a concept known as "soon".

For 3 1/2 years the hawks have been implying "never". In the months before the election, the doves cried "now". It's time for them both to learn the concept of "as soon as feasible."

Bush, Rumsfeld, and the other hawks beat the drum of "cut and run" to scare people into thinking the left was weak--that they would cause the soldiers to drop their guns and run away with no thought to the consequences. Such a ploy belongs on the playground, not in politics.

Leaving behind the lies we were told--the lies many of us never believed--about the reasons for tossing aside 200 years of policy and becoming an invading nation, is it unreasonable to expect that somewhere in the chain of command--somewhere between the Commander-in-Chief, the Joint Chiefs, and the generals--there be an actual plan?

Every high school student knows the routine: make an outline, define the opening statement, the introduction, the body, and finally the conclusion. Understand what will be in each part, and how you plan to get from one to the next. Invading a sovereign nation may be more complex than writing a history report, but the concept is the same: understand what needs to be done, and how to get there.

What we have now is not a well-structured report. What we have is stream-of-consciousness prose written by a committee of boys are enthralled with the sound of their own voices.

There has now been a changing of the guard, and a shift of power. Now the drum-beat of insults has suddenly been silenced and replaced with half-hearted murmurs of cooperation.

The "new boss" has been handed a live grenade. They know that they can't hold it forever, hoping it won't explode. If they drop it and run away, it's likely to fill their backs with shrapnel. What they need to do is find the pin, learn how to put it back in, and then hand the grenade off to someone trained to use it. When that's done, we can bring the soldiers back home.

It won't be easy, and it won't be quick. But it can be done. We can't win against terrorism, and we can't erase hatreds that have existed for 5 thousand years. The best we can hope to do is repair some of the damage caused by the arrogance and folly of an American president, and bring our attention back to problems we actually have a chance of solving.

To those of you will take your place of power with the coming of the new year, I have this to say:

Do not fall to the taunting of the hawks. Do not rush to the extreme just to show you're different than them. Take your time. Build a strategy. Protect the soldiers, and give them a goal they can reach. They will achieve that goal, and they will come home proud.

You asked for the power, and it has been given to you. Use it wisely.

In my life I have tilted at more than my share of windmills. I have rushed in like a white knight only to find the damsel was unwilling to be saved.

It's a lesson that has come at a great price, but I have learned that I can not save those who aren't willing to be saved.

I've lost more friends than I care to admit. I've seen them fall to despair, self-hatred, apathy, and deceit. For too many years, I fought against the current to save them. What I refused to admit is that they didn't want to be saved. I reached out to them, only to watch them turn away. For years I thought I had failed them; that I had been too late, too uncomprehending, too weak.

I have scars upon my soul, both deep and wide. Some will never heal. But my greatest mistake was my own blindness; I was the one who inflicted those wounds upon myself. I couldn't understand that some people don't want to be saved; they are so filled with fear and hatred of themselves that they believe they deserve the torment they're in.

I earned my wisdom through pain and failure; it was defeat and torment that opened my eyes--the insidious torture that can only come from within one's self.

When I look behind me, I see more ghosts than I would like to admit. Some exist because I failed. Some exist because I hesitated. Some exist because I didn't understand. But none exist because I failed to love. None exist because I failed to try.

Every ghost which resides in my shadow continues to haunt me. "I love you" is a promise which does not fade with time nor distance. A thousand miles or a thousand days are naught but numbers, and silence is but a pause.

I can not fight against you in order to save you. I can not destroy myself in the blind hope that it may open your eyes. But the hand I extend is forever offered--in friendship and in love.

When you want to be saved, simply touch my fingers and I will wrestle you from the clutches of Hell herself.

Open your eyes and reach to me, and I will be here.
Pull the darkness and deceit around you and all I can do is pray for your soul.

... and love you.